RELATIONSHIP

    Life always evolves in a relationship. Sometimes a relationship is a success but most of the time it is a failure. Why? Maybe because people are just born selfish? self-centered? or anything and anyone is always there to blame?
     Some just let it pass, never minding what may happen or what just happened. But most always mind, no matter the pain or joy they encountered in a relationship. Most would think why it is still there, alive and kicking, or most just wonder why it would end.
     I will focus on those who mind their relationship because they are the ones who really care, who really nurtured the moments and who wanted change to make their relationship lasts.

RELATIONSHIP AND OTHERS

Relationship as FAMILY


      Let us first tackle the family, since it is the closest relationship to our hearts. They said that families always stick together no matter what. But what really happens inside those relationship is for you to answer. I only have to make a general assumption based on my experiences.


The IMMEDIATE Family

     Our relationship with our parents always exceed to the extremities because they are our biological origins. No one can ever separate that even the adopted ones are ever sure to find that missing link of who their parents really are either just for curiosity's sake or to be with them in the end.
     But what is with parents? Sometimes daughters are closest to the father and sons to the mother, they said. But others are just vise versa. Is it really big deal to state this fact? Well, maybe because daughters will soon marry and trying to find ideals with their father as models and maybe because women are looking forward to be strong like their father to face the very true facts of the real world. How about the sons? Well, maybe because men are likely immune to someone cuddling them, babysitting them, taking care of them (even if they do not boldly accept that fact...hehehe...hurrah to feminism!) that is why they looked up to their mother and sometimes even set ideal characteristics like their mothers. But this whole idea is just applicable to worthy mothers and fathers who are really meant to be looked up to. Why am I saying these? Because, we are all aware that there are worst parents in the world, those who let unusual things happen to their children. Let us leave that nightmare....Let us just be positive, anyway.
     So how's our relationship with our parents? Are we civil to them? Are we closed with them? Do we share things private to them? Do we confide with them? Or are we the type who are indifferent to their parents? Those who shout at them? Those who have no respect?
     It is a good thing to get close with our parents because they are the ones who knew us from the day we were born. They were the ones who take good care of us, taught us with things that we might encounter soon in our growing up. So, why don't we include them also in our private lives for some time, but of course, with limitations you can only know. They might know how to deal with our qualms on falling in love, our worries of having a failure boyfriend or girlfriend. Parents still know how to deal sometimes because they might have encountered things you are worrying now. But, also be reminded, that they might not know things in your generation, so you must also understand their anger or their fascination. Do not laugh, do not cry...just explain and ask for their opinion. Then weigh everything, you'll never know they might be your biggest help.
     On the other hand, to those who bear no respect to their parents and looked down to them because they are less educated, WELL, KABOOM! for you...you will not be who you are now if not for their sacrifices no matter how little they have given you! It is not always RIGHT to disrespect parents. Just the fact that you came from them, they are still who they are in your life, no matter bad things went with you. There are proper ways to deal with notions like that, proper authorities, proper time. Just NEVER DISRESPECT YOUR PARENTS IN ANY WAY! Or else, you will reap the fruits of your labor, when you will have your own children, you will wonder why they disrespect you when you did it with your parents before. (History repeats itself...if you let it happen)
     
     Our relationship within our immediate family doesn't end with just our parents. Our brothers and sisters are always involve. Jealousy with our own brothers and sisters sometimes caused the troubles (Hello to those only childs..."I am happy to be an only child but sometimes sad because I do not have playmates at home." I just heard from a child answering the questions during their Science Fair Contest at school). Yes, living at home without someone to bother with sometimes makes us sad, that is why even if it is not sister's fault, we blame her of our corrupted laptops when in fact we are the ones who struck the wrong key that deleted the files. We even ban brother from touching our ponytails even if he's just so awed with it and doesn't know how to express it. There are so many things we always take as reasons just for the sake of arguments, troubles and issues but in the end, trust me, when the extreme time comes like ending up your relationship with your two-timer boyfriend, your brother comes for your great rescue. Believe me, that when it's time to court the girl you really wanted in school, your sister is the ever greatest help you can rely on. Just be polite in asking or else you will end up eating your own burnt cookies...

The IN-LAWS

 
   Some said that husbands are always minding their Mother-in-law just as the wife. There are only few who published minding their Father-in-laws. Maybe because in a relationship like these, most Fathers are always quiet and just listening to arguments. They are seldom the cause of the argument unless of course if they are being a nuisance to the life of their daughters or sons, those who only wanted mishaps to happen. Anyway, it is rumored that because Mother-in-laws are always jealous of what their children have and insistent on what their children must have (you follow?). When the wife bought new curtains and the mother-in-law can't even ask for her son to buy her the latest crazed slippers she wanted, uh-uh, here comes trouble...mother-in-law nags that the lawn is so dirty, that daughter-in-law do not have time to clean and just always relaxing, sleeping, and doing other things than sweeping the lawn! Huh! Sometimes even that simple nag can also be stressful...There are also times when mother-in-law insist on the husband to help with the household chores even if he is very tired from work and really intend to help his wife after minutes of rest, even if the wife does not demand assistance...here comes mother-in-law telling the neighborhood how insensitive his son-in-law is!
     
     Same trouble happens with brother-in-laws & sister-in-laws. Jealousy with each other is always the cause of arguments. Then, here comes pride. Then, after everything, hidden anger and envy. Then, even the children's playful argues are sometimes taken seriously by parents that even if the children already made up to it, the brother-in-laws & sister-in-laws are forever at it. All of which will surely destroy the relationship if not stopped abruptly. Resolve the issue once and for all, then forget what happened, treat it as a lesson learned. A family will always be cared for if everyone will have harmony. Thank God always for what you have and still long to have that others already have.

Own Family

     In husbands and wives relationship, there are lots of things to be discussed. I will eventually mention it later since we will focused more on the relationship as a couple. There are so much problems encountered in this relationship. Maybe because, two of a different characters, upbringing and environment are suddenly joined together under one roof and obliged to share as well as deal with each other. Well, it is not an easy thing, is it?
Everyday is always a period of adjustment. Everyday, there's always a thing that arise and needed attention. If both husband and wife will not have each other's understanding, life can be a failure.
     Our relationship with our children also counts. Sometimes because of generation gap, we seldom deal with our children's problems. We content ourselves by bringing them to the doctor to know what causes their tantrums, their silent treatments and etc. Little did we know (or maybe choose not to know) that it might be us not reaching out for them when we are whom they really need not some doctors who will only let them get deeper into their shells. That is why it is important for us, parents, to go with the flow! Not that I am saying we have to dress like our children today, or act like our children today because, I know, that many parents would not like to be what the trends now, many parents still embrace the past practices (but believe me also that during  their time, they also hate most of the practices they experienced....hehehe). What I am trying to say is, sometimes we have to go with the generation changes so that we can understand what is happening with our child and then we will know how to deal with the problem gradually, understandably, reasonably, and without any drastic actions that will cause rebellion in the part of the child. Most of the children of today think that they are more intelligent than their parents, the know-it-all attitude, but the truth is that they are afraid of what lies ahead and choose to be superior even to their parents so that they can conceal their true feelings of what is happening in the world. But children must also know that if they are afraid, how much more your parents are? They are far more afraid than you are because they already experienced some of your fears and some of it they overcome but maybe, most of it, they failed, that is why they are protective of you and tend to be strict.
     Parents have all the right to be protective and disciplinarian but not to overdo it as children will already be suffocated and tend to wriggle out of your protection which will eventually lead them astray. It still best to talk one-on-one with your children, heart-to-heart, mother to daughter or son, father to son or daughter.  In that way, you will be able to understand each other fully. Children have all the right to choose protection and discipline but listen first and talk it out with parents. Rebellion will not help you face your fear, you will instead have fear and more fear by yourself (Watch out! The line between sanity and insanity is thinner than a thread...). Parents are still the best adviser because they knew you from birth and will not be ashamed of you no matter what you did and will still do. Just learn to TALK and LISTEN!

DISCIPLINE